I almost quit making comics 💔✏️

Much like the characters themselves, Sacrimony refused to die.

Hi there Goat Herd,

While trying to find a 9–5 job, I felt like I was punishing myself.

I felt that I had somehow “failed” at making comics, and this was the consequence. I felt like I didn’t deserve to do this anymore, and that sooner or later I was going to have to admit that out loud. I was fully preparing myself to make some kind of announcement that I’d have to stop working on Sacrimony for good.

On top of that, I had this very specific fear that even if I tried to keep going, I wouldn’t be able to. That I’d come home exhausted every day, tell myself “fuck it, I’m going to sleep” and slowly drift further and further away from it until all creativity just… stopped.

The amount of times I’ve had to stop myself from knee-jerk posting a newsletter along the lines of “show’s over, go home everyone, Sacrimony is cancelled forever” is more than I’d like to admit.

Thankfully, the opposite happened.

Being fed made me hungrier.

When I was working on comics full-time, I was burnt out constantly, not because I didn’t care, but because I cared too much while also being stressed about money all the time. Every day felt heavy. I always had this voice in the back of my head telling me I should be doing more, pushing harder and making it work somehow.

And there were weeks where I couldn’t get myself to draw at all.

Not because I didn’t want to, but because it felt pointless. Like no matter what I did, no matter how much effort I put in, I’d still end up in the same place. Still stressed. Still in debt. Still trying to convince myself it was going to work.

That kind of hopelessness sticks with you. It makes something you love start to feel impossible.

Now, my basic needs are covered. I know I can pay my bills. I know I’m not one bad month away (or one cat rescue away) from everything falling apart. And instead of draining my motivation, it’s done something I didn’t expect: it’s made me restless.

I find myself trying to get through my workload just so I can sneak in a few extra minutes of comic work here and there during the dayjob. Five minutes, ten minutes, whatever I can grab. Enough to sketch something, write something down, make a little bit of progress. And as soon as I’m done for the day, shower, eat, take care of what I need to, it’s right back to Sacrimony until I go to bed.

I’m not less motivated. I’m not burnt out.

If anything, I’ve never wanted this more.

And I think part of that is because I know what it feels like to almost lose it. To sit there, staring at something you care about, and not have the energy (or the hope) to keep going.

I don’t feel that way anymore.

My job is good, and I’m genuinely grateful for it, but it’s not the end goal. The goal is still the same as it’s always been to get to a place where I can sustain myself through making Sacrimony.

The difference now is that I’m not creating from a place of fear.

I’m creating from a place of wanting this so badly that I’m willing to use every spare minute I have to make it happen.

And that’s why this upcoming Kickstarter feels so important to me.

I’ve never been hungrier to make one succeed.

If you want to be part of that and follow the campaign for Sacrimony #9, you can do that here. We go live on May 11 and it’s some of the absolute best work I’ve ever done.

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/msorcier/sacrimony-1-9

Talk soon,
-M🖤