What Does it Mean to be "Brave"?

Getting through the big scary things.

Hi there!

Fair warning, this week’s newsletter deals with a pretty heavy topic of animal abuse/neglect, so if that’s not your jam, please please don’t read the rest of this.

For the past few years, I’ve worked as a volunteer for a cat rescue organization in NY called Little Wanderers. I don’t have a lot of free time or money or other resources but if there’s something that I can do, I will do it. I’ve fostered cats, I’ve rescued friendly cats off the street and helped find them loving homes, I’m currently trying to TNR some of my feral strays who keep popping out kittens, I’ve helped the kittens find homes. It’s a lot. It’s incredibly rewarding, though.

Two weeks ago, I got a call from Little Wanderers that left an awful feeling in the pit of my stomach. I was the only one who could help because I had the time to do it, I was close to the area where I was needed and there was a very narrow time frame to get the job done otherwise it would have to wait a few days until the next available person could show up and access could be granted to the apartment.

Brace yourself for this.

I don’t know the specifics of the situation, but two cats were left abandoned in an apartment after a domestic violence incident with no food or water for THREE WEEKS. The moment I heard that I thought “Oh no no no I can’t do this rescue. There’s no way I can do this. I won’t be able to mentally handle whatever I’m going to find in that apartment. Why did I have to be the only one who can do this??”

In situations like this, my mind always kicks into overdrive thinking about all the things that could go wrong. Thinking about walking into an apartment where cats starved to death and could have been in some state of decay was horrifying. Or even just seeing them really emaciated and barely clinging to life would completely break me and just make me lose what little faith in humanity I had left.

But then I asked myself the question I always ask which is “Yeah all that could happen, but what if I don’t do it?” and, as always, it snapped me back to reality.

I can’t say that I was feeling particularly “brave” in that moment. In fact, I don’t think there’s ever a time in my life where I’ve confidently felt “brave.” People ask me how I’ve managed to get through all the big, scary things that I’ve done thus far and this is always my answer:

I’ve realized that bravery isn’t the absence of fear. It’s the ability to do something despite the fear.

Our brains have good intentions.

The brain uses fear as a way of trying to keep you safe. The brain warns you about all the things that can possibly go wrong when you face the scary thing and it tells you you’re probably better off not doing the thing. Because it’s better to be safe. But I’m going to challenge you to think about what would happen if you don’t do the thing?

Running my first Kickstarter is scary! What if I fail!? What if people hate my book!?
Okay, but what if you never even tried because you’re too afraid? You’ll sit around, wishing that you did try. If you don’t run that Kickstarter, your life will never change in any meaningful way, even if it’s to realize that the whole thing is not for you.

I don’t have the courage to learn a new skill! I’m just going to keep messing up!
That doesn’t make you a failure. Messing up is a part of the learning process. People rarely get things right on the first try and you can’t know how to do something better until you get it “wrong” a few times.

Doing a job interview is scary! I can’t handle feeling judged!
But if you don’t do the interview, you have no chance of getting the job you wanted.

I don’t think I have it in me to try and rescue two cats that may be dead! What if I’m traumatized by what I see!?
If I didn’t do it, I never would have learned that they were both, by some miracle, still alive. I would have never been able to rush them to an emergency vet and I would have never known that two weeks later, they’re actually doing okay and things look good for them.

This is Milo. He was actually still very feisty when I got to him, having survived by tearing into bags of bread and snacks and whatever else he could find to sustain himself. Despite being half the weight he should be, he was still surprisingly healthy and was able to go to a foster home the day after being rescued.

This is Storm. She didn’t fare as well as Milo, as she was nothing but skin and bones when I picked her up to transport her. I wasn’t sure if she was going to make it, but after getting fluids and glucose treatments and some TLC, she’s actually able to stand and eat on her own now, which is so satisfying.

I’m really glad I faced the big scary thing and saved them. It felt so good getting them out of the apartment to get medical treatment, even though I was still shaking by the time I got home… and the day after.

If you’d like to check out Little Wanderers and maybe throw some dollars at them for Storm’s medical treatment, you can follow them on instagram here.

Thanks so much for reading.
Have a great weekend.
-M

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